Sometimes in life we see that some of the best relationships can often start off rocky. Whether that be from prejudice, difference in opinion, or other outside factors that you get before really learning a someone’s true self. In a similar way, you can determine what type of relationship you can have with a person by how you approach and embrace your differences.
Around seven years ago I played basketball for my middle school team. The team was comprised of only seventh and eighth graders, with me being the only seventh grader to start. In our first game we played Cambridge school, a team with no championship aspirations. It was there I met Mr. Brant Hall, he was the referee for the game who seemed to favor calls for our opponent. Mr. Hall was the offensive coordinator, assistant athletic director, and director of admissions for Loyola Blakefield, a catholic private school in the greater Baltimore area. Unbeknownst to me this same man that I had only seen once before would end up being one of the lead male role models in my life.
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I was fated to meet this man, because the more I went on with life the more I had to see him. This same ref showed up at my middle school to recruit students to come to Loyola Blakefield and little did I know that my middle school was directly connected to his institution. My middle school, St. Ignatius Loyola Academy, was also not only a Jesuit school; but also, the little brother school to Loyola Blakefield. So, I can say for most of my middle school career I saw Mr. Hall even though it was not my choice.
I ended up going to Loyola Blakefield for my entire high school career. The very first time I set foot on campus, I was greeted with “Hey look who it is! If it isn’t Dana Young” and as I looked around to see who it was Mr. Hall stood there with a smile and handshake. This same benevolence only lasted a few weeks, as he was appointed the new head football coach and I was a freshman trying out for the team. This is where things began to get rocky.
Like most other freshmen, I was somewhat disoriented because I had no clue about how this program operated. I did not know that you have acclimation day to which you start off in just helmets and add more equipment as the week on. I had no clue that some days you would have two practices a day, in which seniors would pummel freshmen endlessly as tackling dummies. To make matters worse I was the laughing stock for the first four weeks of football camp, I had the wrong colored helmet and a lineman’s facemask, but I played wide receiver. I looked for Coach Hall for help, but his only response was “You’re a grown man now. Some things you have to learn on your own.” This didn’t help me one bit. In fact, this led to being cut to the freshman team and having a chip on my shoulder with blatant disregard for anything he said.
Later on during the season, my team was on a big winning streak and Coach Hall came out to watch us chase our sixth straight win. Along with two other players, I helped to lead a high-powered offense. In the passing game I was a monster, I was susceptible to score anytime the ball touched my hands, I could score on a four-yard screen or an eighty-yard bomb. In the running game, my two teammates Ahmed and Jamorie spearheaded a vicious run attack that gouged every run defense. But this game we struggled to get anything going because we played this team for the second straight week. We started to get the passing attack going after I made a tough one-handed catch over three defenders. I returned to the sideline and Coach Hall said, “You still didn’t get the first down son, make the tough plays count.” This is when I knew had to put a chip on my shoulder to fulfill my varsity aspirations for the next year.
My sophomore year was the year our relationship started to grow. When the season began I wasn’t expected to play at all, but by the third game I was starting. I recognized that he knew I had talent, so much so that he announced that I did in front of our entire team. After we played our fourth game and suffered a horrendous loss, we had a team dinner. The entire team acted as if we hadn’t lost by over forty points, including coach Hall. He came to greet me cordially and simply said “you played well”, with a smile on his face. I responded with a vitriolic mix of curse words and other derogatory things toward he and the team, so he left speechless. The very next day he called me into his office and we talked about how he felt about what happened. He thanked me for opening his eyes to what was going on and how things needed to change, but he also told me how I could’ve gone about it differently. Afterward he hugged, laughed, and said I love you. From that moment forward we were inseparable and our relationship grew beyond the football field.
I started to eat lunch with him almost every day and we talk about how the team could be better, how the team could be better, and also learn more about each other. He took the time to hear all my problems and even alert me of problems that I had to keep me in good academic standing. By the time the year ended I could tell you that Brant Hall was the father of two boys, Brant and Chandler, and married to his wife Lisa of 15 years. He graduated from Lehigh University where he was a 3-time champion at quarterback. At Loyola Blakefield, he was the second black quarterback to ever play and led the team to three championships. As a child he lived in a single parent household with his mom and brother, and things weren’t always easy for them. There would be times when he would tell me about him witnessing his mother cry because she was struggling with her own personal issues and making ends meet. It wasn’t until he’d gotten to high school did he meet some role models in his life, which in turn would be the same role models in my life.
Coach Hall emphasized that he wanted his players to be good men before anything else, so he made sure he went out of his way to instill that in his program. Even he kept only good men around him, which was reflected in his coaching staff. Personally, I think he instilled this in us because he had been through so much in his young life. Coach Hall, only thirty-five, lost his mom at age twenty and his dad walked out of his life when he was born. I think he was preparing us, for some of us the best and worst had yet to come in our lives; however, he made sure that we would be ready for that moment. I can attribute most of who I am to Coach Hall, because he always pushed me to do more in every aspect of my life. He helped me to understand problems that were much beyond my years, how to network, how to sell myself, and how most of all be a good man.
I feel like I am forever indebted to him; he was there every step of the way in what had been the lowest point of my life so far. I battled with depression after my season ending injury in my senior year. He along with many others expected a lot out of me and I will never forget him carrying me off the field saying, “Come on big boy, this will only show me how strong you really are. I love you.” He came to check on me every day either while I was at home and even going around school in my wheelchair. I think it’s my fault for keeping someone who cares about me so much out of my life. It wasn’t until the end of my senior year did he find out, and he was heartbroken along with my parents and other two loved ones that were in the room with me. He spoke to me and wanted me to know how upset he was that I didn’t let him know, he extended his home to me as a safe haven, he called for me to be instrumental in his boys’ life as a role model. I heard every word, it hit me where it hurt most and I wanted to respond, yet I could only cry for the pain that I felt emanating from him. It’s hard to accept the fact that you not only let some people down, but also hurt them especially those we care about most.
Before I left for college, I had to give a senior reflection speech about how my high school career had gone. It was only right that I thank him for all that he had done, but once again I broke down into tears. It was just so much raw emotion flowing because no one will ever understand our relationship no matter how much I try to explain it because there is so much more that could be told. I just continue to thank God for helping me to meet this man that I forever say loves me and pushes me to be even better. Not many people have relationships like this, but I can say that having a mentor like this in my life has made me a much better person, student, and athlete